Tag Archives: emotional abuse

puppet

inherently deaf, dumb, and blind

to terror and trauma surrounding me.

thick wooden walls

and silken interior

protect my heart,

a living casket,

walking dead.

pushed aside,

shoved into dirty corners,

death horror hell

mean less here.

my mind rocks to and fro behind iron walls,

alone, staring through an empty window.

bars placed there a long time ago

disappeared,

ravaged and wracked by time herself.

trauma found the key;

stole it from sorrow

who ripped it away from

death himself.

i am here now.

hurting.

millions of shards pierce my

soul.

spilling mi corazon for all to see,

life-giving wine pouring onto the floor,

escaping in droplets which splash

then in tremendous rush,

sprint away from me as if

i were a horrific monster.

i am here.

i am helpless.

formed of only soft yet damned flesh,

yearning to crawl inside my sacred soul,

confused as to why this ache persists…

why this constant earthquake and vortex

threaten my sanity each day.

crippling thoughts flood my mind

whirlwinds twist my heart

draining final drops of wine

to the linoleum floor below

tiled sharply in black and white.

i curl fetally into your heart,

feeding upon your blood in desperation.

thriving on our anaerobic love.

yet this action,

this final thrust of survival,

this dependency upon your soulless heart,

is why my

heart ceases to pump

why

my mind ceases to think.

strings spring from my spine,

shooting upward toward your hands.

you grasp on tightly

as i shudder and exhale,

finally dead within,

alive only in motion

controlled by you.

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as you lay breathing

with each new dawn

i awoke

hopeful

for a new start.

and yet there you lay

next to me

breathing.

a stranger in my bed

a stranger in my head

a stranger no longer

in my heart.

i packed your bags

sealed up your space

eons ago.

yet there you lay

next to me

breathing.

with every breath

i let you steal

another chance at

happy.

your words sharpened

as the days flew by

piercing my soul

as there you lay

next to me

breathing.

we flew round and round

you and i

each in our own world.

desperate for escape

i clawed at my confines

screamed for help

prayed for divine

intervention.

as you lay there

next to me

breathing.

i cried myself to sleep

wailed, writhed,

ached for a freedom

i knew existed

but could not reach.

as you lay there

next to me

breathing.

now,

i lie here,

breathing

fresh air

no longer sullied

by your breath,

your heart,

your words,

your despising ways.

i breathe.

because i am free.