shattered red glass

hidden beneath white covers

filled with comforting feathers,

you find me,

soaking myself with tears.

gasping for breath,

barely clinging to life.

a grim hole

ripped in my chest,

shattered red glass

surrounding me.

polished, lustrous, and yet

jagged.

every malicious edge

aimed at me.

ominously threatening.

drawing  a deep yet shaky breath,

filled with every emotion,

every memory,

every second of you,

i exhale.

shattered red glass rolls

beneath my soft skin

as i do…

piercing me,

staining the white sheets scarlet.

sanguinary and beautiful,

misery flows deep from

within,

as i stare,

the expanding stains

fascinating me.

their patterns swirl and twirl,

unpredictable.

I rise,

more shattered glass piercing my arms,

my legs..

a welcome throbbing

replacing an apathetic existence.

i stumble toward the door,

naked,

bleeding,

seeking relief.

i step outside

into a thundering

downpour,

a barbaric scream

climbs out of my soul,

echoing back against

the vociferous sky.

we talk,

that boisterous sky and I,

as the rain nearly

drowns me.

as the sky clears,

my wounds heal.

i stand naked,

perilously ethereal and vulnerable.

dripping wet,

covered in water mixed

with remnants of a bloody battle,

i crawl back inside,

rip the sheets off my

bed,

tossing them into flames,

glass and all.

one jagged piece remains,

saved but not treasured.

a reminder

of the heart

which once beat

so dependently upon

yours.

vestiges

staring at a grassy knoll

speckled with young trees,

i sit.

sun beating down upon me

as birds shriek, cry, sing, swoop.

squirrels scurry through the

wild grass,

carefully pulling strands apart

in search of food.

 

my eyes see this.

my mind processes this.

but my heart.

oh my heart.

my heart struggles

like the cardinals forever

fighting at the bottom of this

grassy knoll.

 

an owl calls from the next cluster of trees.

the “hoo hoo”

only brings tears to my eyes

and a weight to my chest

as i think only to answer with

“you you.”

 

fresh air surrounds me

yet i cannot partake.

unable to smile,

unable to move,

so i sit.

in the midst of paradise,

aching for one more word

one more echo of your voice,

vestiges i know

i must let go

but things with which my

shattered heart

has sewn itself shut.

 

you found the hidden passages

of my heart,

hidden passages long ago

abandoned.

lit them with your torch,

now they still shine brightly.

the entrance crumbled

without warning,

but the heat emanating

from within

rivals that of the sun.

it burns within my chest.

tears will not extinguish the

flames burning inside.

neither does inducing an anaerobic state.

 

with a burning chest,

a lost mind,

and a body yearning

for your touch,

i sit,

in the midst of paradise,

alone.

with vestiges of love

now trapped forever

behind a

landslide of molten rocks.

undone

hair hangs down

heavy in front of my face,

hiding hot tears

which slip quickly down.

hiding a mouth open

in a silent scream.

hiding gasps, breaths, shudders.

hiding.

hands cross my chest

holding my heart.

a heart heavy, broken, shattered,

and all the other cliches

found in the world.

a heart heavier than

mt. everest,

a heart crushing my back,

creeping up into my throat

and threatening to overflow

my very being with the harshest of

hurts.

i seem to have come

undone,

my stitching burst,

my stuffing lies tossed about me,

yet here i sit.

trapped.

covered in hot wet tears.

silently screaming.