Tag Archives: marriage

puppet

inherently deaf, dumb, and blind

to terror and trauma surrounding me.

thick wooden walls

and silken interior

protect my heart,

a living casket,

walking dead.

pushed aside,

shoved into dirty corners,

death horror hell

mean less here.

my mind rocks to and fro behind iron walls,

alone, staring through an empty window.

bars placed there a long time ago

disappeared,

ravaged and wracked by time herself.

trauma found the key;

stole it from sorrow

who ripped it away from

death himself.

i am here now.

hurting.

millions of shards pierce my

soul.

spilling mi corazon for all to see,

life-giving wine pouring onto the floor,

escaping in droplets which splash

then in tremendous rush,

sprint away from me as if

i were a horrific monster.

i am here.

i am helpless.

formed of only soft yet damned flesh,

yearning to crawl inside my sacred soul,

confused as to why this ache persists…

why this constant earthquake and vortex

threaten my sanity each day.

crippling thoughts flood my mind

whirlwinds twist my heart

draining final drops of wine

to the linoleum floor below

tiled sharply in black and white.

i curl fetally into your heart,

feeding upon your blood in desperation.

thriving on our anaerobic love.

yet this action,

this final thrust of survival,

this dependency upon your soulless heart,

is why my

heart ceases to pump

why

my mind ceases to think.

strings spring from my spine,

shooting upward toward your hands.

you grasp on tightly

as i shudder and exhale,

finally dead within,

alive only in motion

controlled by you.


my secret mustang

you stood in the middle of my life

an impasse.

interwoven with my heart

surreptitiously entrenched yourself into my thoughts.

i let you.

once upon a time,

before you stood on my heart,

i ran free,

like a mustang in an open field.

mane flying in the wind,

hooves on the ground,

shattering the earth as she pounds forward,

not knowing where she is headed,

but tilting forward at full force

filled with the exhilaration of life

as fresh mountain air rolls down the hills

into her lungs.

you moved my mountains.

you stole my air.

you trampled my heart.

you broke me.

i let you.

you rode me.

bred me.

bridled me.

haunted me.

disrespected me.

i let you.

then you let me run free.

you let me try to be

the me I used to be.

the me who ran free and

drank from clear springs flowing

deep within hidden valleys.

then you tried to put the me

i found out there

away.

i didn’t let you.

i kept her.

secreted her away in the corner,

covered her with dust so you wouldn’t see.

i fed her.

i loved her.

i honored her.

she grew strong.

she grew in me.

you saw flashes of her,

brief glimpses of that beautiful strong

free mustang

i used to be.

you padlocked my pen.

you strained to keep me in.

you scrambled to build a stronger fence.

i didn’t let you.

i run free now.

i flung myself upon her back,

gripped her beautiful mane

with all my strength as she leapt

toward freedom,

taking me with her.

i am no longer yours.

i am mine.

Mine alone.